Aphorisms Galore!

Men and Women

52 aphorisms  ·  11 comments

Aphorisms in This Category

tiny.ag/xxgha1bk  ·  submitted 1997

Men like to pursue an elusive woman like a cake of wet soap -- even men who hate baths.

Gelett Burgess, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/fqbryph0  ·  submitted 1997

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

Aristotle Onassis, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/sfggj03u  ·  submitted 1997

A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy.

Friedrich Nietzsche, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/oujtda0e  ·  submitted 1997

Bachelors know more about women than married men do. If they didn't, they'd be married too.

Henry Louis Mencken, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/ymbukbew  ·  submitted 1997

When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.

Unknown, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/tcrvsd4o  ·  submitted 1997

Women first want to find out what is in your wallet, and second what is in your pants.

Unknown, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/ipnqtb0n  ·  submitted 1997

If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot dog stands on the moon.

Unknown, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/vfmz7cvr  ·  submitted 1997

If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.

Krystal Ann Kraus, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/vsuzg5uw  ·  submitted 1997

Being kissed by a man who didn't wax his moustache was like eating an egg without salt.

Rudyard Kipling, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/pxnbu4ey  ·  submitted 1997

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.

Rudyard Kipling, in Men and Women and Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/n51jrfp4  ·  submitted 1997

When a female has tears in her eyes the one who cannot see is the male.

Unknown, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/nxwvhtlg  ·  submitted 1997

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.

Timothy Leary, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/osjwdfeg  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Beauty: That power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Life and Death and Men and Women

tiny.ag/d6nssfxi  ·  submitted 1997

Large increases in cost with questionable increases in performance can be tolerated only in race horses and women.

Lord Kelvin, in Men and Women and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/exb7lihg  ·  submitted 1997

I've had one child. My husband wants to have another. I'd like to watch him have another.

Unknown, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/uakf86jl  ·  submitted 1997

A woman has to be twice as good as a man, to be regarded as half that clever.

Unknown, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/axmzaeli  ·  submitted 1997

A man needs a mistress, just to break the monogamy.

Unknown, in Love and Hate and Men and Women

tiny.ag/1nyf2coi  ·  submitted 1997

While farmers generally allow one rooster for ten hens, ten men are scarcely sufficient to service one woman.

Giovanni Boccaccio, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/ahwnboyz  ·  submitted 1997

A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.

Unknown, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/7j6zgqod  ·  submitted 1997

A diplomat is a man who can convince his wife she'd look stout in a fur coat.

Unknown, in Law and Politics and Men and Women