Aphorisms Galore!

Unknown

Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist

tiny.ag/lc1buagj  ·  submitted 1997

You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/8kw5laiw  ·  submitted 1997

You draw nothing out of the bank of life except what you deposit in it.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/ugcdh8oe  ·  submitted 1997

You may only have two of the three choices: (1) Enjoy your job. (2)Work within the law. (3)Make lots of money.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/gelcd01a  ·  submitted 1997

You should emulate your heroes, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/renqzacv  ·  submitted 1997

You're a genius if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning is electricity -- but you're an idiot if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning can kill you.

Unknown, (from Mad Magazine), in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/ypqqlw9y  ·  submitted 1998

Always remember your weapons system was made by the lowest bidder

Unknown, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/qse5ziat  ·  submitted 1998

Give a man a fish and he'll ask for a lemon. Teach a man to fish and he'll leave work early on Friday.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/sulaqprm  ·  submitted 1997

Marriage is not a word -- it is a sentence.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

tiny.ag/wbhpks76  ·  submitted 1997

Measure twice because you can only cut once.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/ba1k2myj  ·  submitted 1999 by Falcon

Men don't need women -- they just need certain parts of their anatomy.

Unknown, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/i3egysnq  ·  submitted 1997

Men who cherish for women the highest respect are seldom popular with them.

Unknown, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/5ce9bwks  ·  submitted 1997

Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/hpw0adig  ·  submitted 1997

Modern man is the missing link between apes and human beings.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/k5imoxc2  ·  submitted 1997

Mollison's Bureaucracy Hypothesis: If an idea can survive a bureaucratic review and be implemented it wasn't worth doing.

Unknown, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/w3vp1iki  ·  submitted 1997

Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than in a Lada.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wealth and Poverty

tiny.ag/dv1lo7ef  ·  submitted 1997

Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism and Wealth and Poverty

tiny.ag/xe17luio  ·  submitted 1997

My hands are free, but my mind hesitates.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/ejnzrzf3  ·  submitted 1997

My mind is made up, don't confuse me with the facts!

Unknown, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/c8lfkzap  ·  submitted 1997

My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that's what she says.

Unknown, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/u0wakq2d  ·  submitted 1997

Nature has given women so much power that the law has very wisely given them little.

Unknown, in Men and Women